' Cello Jokes

Q: How do you get a 'cellist to play fortissimo?
A: Write "pp, espressivo"

 

Q: How do you make a cello sound beautiful?
A: Sell it and buy a violin.

Q: How do you get a cello to play in tune?
A: Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

Q: What's the difference between a cello and a bass?
A: The bass just makes a bigger keg.

Q: What does a celloist do when he`s playing?
A: He is going into depression.

Q: What does a celloist do when he`s not playing?
A: Nothing, he has depression.

Q: How do you stop a cellist fromm drowning?
A: Take your foot off his head.

Q: What's perfect pitch?
A: When you throw a cello in the toilet without hitting the rim.

Q: Why do cellists never play hide and seek?
A: Because no one ever comes to look for them.